The Drew Barrymore Show: “Brutally Honest” Author Mel B.

"Brutally Honest" Author Mel B.

AIRS THURSDAY, MARCH 28TH

MUST INCLUDE TUNE IN

Photo Credit: The Drew Barrymore Show/Ash Bean    

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Videos:

Mel B. on Why She Wrote Her Book "Brutally Honest"

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/1NqbCmhDfxJx

Drew: So how did you even have the bravery to talk about this in the first place?

Mel: I mean, I was living a complete lie behind closed doors, and I just want it to be known that, you know, abuse can happen to anyone, and it predominantly happens to women. So I had to speak out about it, and plus, I wanted to make sense of how did I get here? How has my life been living? Have I lived like that for so long? And where is everyone? Where are my friends? Where are my family? So I wanted to kind of like a diary to myself, so I wasn't going crazy. So I called my dear friend, Louise Gannon. She came over to L.A. and she was like, 'Right, you know, I want you to write this book with me,' and she was like, 'So where do we start?' And I just completely clammed up because then I thought 'Oh my God, I don't want to write this book.' It's like dirty and taboo and it's a dark secret. And, you know, I'm a patron of women's aid. So I deal and talk with a lot of survivors, and I do a lot of campaigning, and my story is exactly like everybody else's story that's being abused. A person comes into your life like God's gift. And you are completely love bombed. You think, 'Oh my God, this is amazing, he's so special. He's so like protective and showers me with confidence and love and just adores me.' And then once the love bombing kind of dies down, they start chip chipping away at your, maybe your personality or what color dress you're wearing. Or you know, your book lunch with your friends and all of a sudden, oh, the lunch got cancelled because he's taking you out to dinner. So now the friend is just being ignored, and then the friend gets ignored the next week and the next week, and then the friend is completely out of the picture because they're slowly isolating you, because when they isolate you, you've got nowhere to turn apart from to them.

Mel B. Surprises Drew With Girl Power T-Shirt from 1996

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/94uUL7dPVWfD

Drew: What is that in your hand?

Mel: Well, I have to tell you, this is a gift from my mother. So my mother went into her storage of old school Spice Girl memorabilia and she pulled this out. I've never even seen this before. I'm like, 'I want that.' She went 'No, you have to give this to Drew and tell her it's from me.' So this is from Andrea, my mum.

Drew: Can I open it? And is it true that Andrea is who also found the ad?

Mel: Yes, she did. My mom.

Drew: The ad that got you into the Spice Girls.

Mel: But then you know what happened? There was four of us at that time, and nobody wanted to sign us. We were doing all these showcases singing our songs. And everyone was like, 'Girl groups are never gonna work.' So we had to kind of beg for management and beg for record companies to sign us. Anyway, back to this, this is more important.

Drew: Oh, my God.

Mel: From 1996 and my mum said it may smell a bit musty, but it's been in storage since 1996.

Drew: I'm gonna wear this with so much love. And by the way, if you don't mind, we can exchange phone numbers and then I can send you pictures of me in it.

Mel B. on Being Chipped Away & Manipulated in Her Relationship

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/o1hZ4iOGEMCa

Drew: Being gas lit is something that almost like gas itself, it's so slow and you can't even smell it. You don't know what's happening until you basically pass out. What happens in that time is these strange little things, like you say, chipping away.

Mel: At your confidence at your like, say, you put something down or you put your I don't know your watch or your ring, and then it'll be moved. And then you go to look at it and you go.

'I know I put my ring there' and your abuser will start making you feel like you're going crazy.

'No, you didn't. You put it in the fridge.' 'Why would I put a ring in the fridge?' 'Because you're going a bit a bit crazy.' They start manipulating you in in really strategic ways. 'Oh, I left my car keys at the nail salon.' I know I didn't leave my car keys at the nail salon, but he managed to put them at the nail salon. So now I feel like 'Oh, my God, I'm I am irresponsible.'

So you start you start believing in what they're telling you and this is somebody that you love. So why wouldn't you believe them? And they abuse emotionally physically, you know, financially. And before you know it, you are trapped and you can't tell anyone because you feel ashamed, embarrassed. And by the way, who are you gonna tell? Because none of your friends are around. None of your family is around. And I can't just call them and say I'm in a bad relationship. Because if I had if I say that out loud, I have to admit that to myself, but I can't leave.

Mel B. on What Got Her to Finally Leave the Relationship

https://app.cimediacloud.com/r/uxFsWHG9SFKV

Drew: What was it that finally made you leave?

Mel: Oh, this is horrible, really because my dad was suffering from cancer and my sister called me and she was like, 'He's definitely, you know, he's gonna pass.' So I went to England, which at this point, I hadn't seen my dad or my mum in about 8 or 9 years because they'd been very discreetly in plain sight, removed from my life. And he's dying and I'm thinking, 'How did this happen?' I moved my dad then to palliative care, but he was holding on. I'm like, 'What is it?'

He's, and the nurses would come in each day and go, 'Oh, my God, he's here again. He's still there.' Cause they're holding on for something. And so I leant over to my dad and I said, 'Listen, you can go now because you know what? I'm gonna get out.' And he looked at me like this, like upright took his last breath. I think if it wasn't for, my dad gave me that strength, I don't know if it wasn't for that situation, if I would have had the strength to get out. But my dad gave me that and yeah, God bless his soul.

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