16/04/2024 | News release | Distributed by Public on 16/04/2024 18:43
The idea of having a conversation about suicide can fill people with dread. It's not just because talking about suicide can feel uncomfortable. It's also because many people feel like only mental health professionals can speak about such a complex and sensitive subject. Many people don't feel like they're "qualified" to help someone having thoughts of suicide.
But nothing could be further from the truth.
You don't have to be a licensed therapist, clinician or academic to talk about suicide. The conversation doesn't have to be filled with statistics or complicated terms. Anyone can talk about it and anyone can help someone who's struggling with suicide.
Here are six ways anyone can be prepared to start a conversation about suicide with a Veteran.
1. Start simple
Don't let worrying about how to start a conversation keep you from having one. Focus on two or three words that can set the tone for a friendly, genuine talk:
Just because it's simple doesn't mean it's not effective. You just have to get the conversation started. Get the person talking and respond to them with genuine care and concern. Being present and sincere is more important than being "qualified."
2. Listen to their story
We've all gone through a tough period and can understand the power of someone simply letting us talk and listening to what we have to say. Do the same for your Veteran loved one or fellow Veteran. Create space for them to talk about their experiences and challenges. Make eye contact with them. Listen more than you speak. Don't dominate the conversation. By normalizing talking about a struggle and being a non-judgmental listener, they're more likely to open up to you.
3. Reshape the conversation from clinical to casual
When talking with a Veteran going through a challenge, make sure you show them you care about them and that you're concerned about them. Here are some things to keep in mind:
4. Think about exactly what you're going to say
It's smart to be prepared and even practice how you plan to talk to the Veteran in your life. When talking, ask questions like:
When responding to answers from a Veteran, remember simple, encouraging feedback goes a long way in showing support and encouraging help-seeking:
5. Invite them to meet in person
We all know from living in an increasingly virtual world that conversational tone and meaning can easily be misunderstood when you text, email or use social media. It can also be very simple to mask true feelings when using technology to communicate.
If you think your Veteran loved one would benefit from meeting up, suggest it: "Let's get together so you can tell me more about how you're doing." If you're not able to meet with them in person, consider calling them on the phone.
6. Don't be afraid to be direct
Though it may seem uncomfortable, it's OK to ask directly: "Are you thinking about suicide/killing yourself?" If the Veteran answers yes, follow the steps below:
Remember: Asking if someone is having thoughts of suicide won't give them the idea or increase their risk. Although many people may not show clear signs of intent to kill themselves, they'll likely answer direct questions about their intentions when asked.
A conversation could save a life
For a Veteran in crisis, whose emotional struggles and health challenges may lead to thoughts of suicide, conversations and connections can mean the difference between keeping them safe and a tragic outcome.