Alumni Filmmaker Finds Life-Saving Help Through Revelations Learned Making Award-Winning Film

Chad Sogas, '03, had a rat tail for 10 years. It was so much a part of him that while a student at Rockhurst he decided to make a film about it, but the film uncovered something he kept hidden for years.

Sogas is now an editor/director in the advertising industry in Brooklyn, New York. He completed "Rat Tail" shortly after graduating and it has won a hoard of awards and been shown at the two biggest film festivals in North America - Hot Docs & DOC NYC. However, his biggest accomplishment is the change he was able to make in himself.

Sogas grew up in Raytown, Missouri, and came to Rockhurst in 1999 to be a member of the soccer team. He had hopes of becoming a teacher and coach. After his junior season he made the difficult decision to step away from soccer to focus on his English major and a growing interest in filmmaking.

"I took a screenwriting class my junior year with Dr. Kovich. My screenplay won the award for the best in the class and helped me realize my ambitions had changed since I first started at RU. I learned that I had a real passion for storytelling, and I wanted the freedom to explore that."

Sogas was working on a project that wasn't quite coming together as he'd like, so he decided to start a film about something he knew - a hairstyle that was uniquely him. He provided the narration, telling his story through his own perspective, as well as those of family members and loved ones.

"A film about the rat tail I had for 10 years growing up that my parents keep in the storage room of their basement felt like an obvious choice. However, once I started editing 'Rat Tail,' I realized there was more to the story than the funny hairstyle I had as a child. It made me want to explore the deeper messages of the story."

A pivotal scene in the film was shot in Rockhurst's Corcoran Hall. At this point in the filming and re-visiting of his childhood, Sogas became emotional about his true feelings growing up vs. the happy-go-lucky person his family thought they knew. He was suffering from depression and couldn't find a way out.

When it was time to cut the rat tail - which he had always kept hidden yet couldn't live without - things got worse.

A defect in the way the scene in Corcoran was shot sent Sogas into a downward spiral. He texted his therapist and told them he wanted to die.

"The flaw in the footage was a flaw in me," he says in the film. "My suicidal thoughts were not a thing of the past. I needed help and there was nothing left to hide."

The film became secondary to Sogas getting help. He was diagnosed with depression and Bipolar II.

"Finally there was an explanation for what I'd been going through and that never would have happened if I had not opened up about the struggles I was experiencing. This project made me become more honest about my life. By making this film, I got the help I needed and have moved forward towards a healthier way of life."

Now Sogas is sharing his story and a message of hope through the film. He hopes it takes the stigma away from mental illness and lets others in comparable situations know they are not alone.

"My advice for anyone who struggles with similar issues is to find help. Getting honest with those close to me, with my therapist, with myself, liberated me."

The close of the film summarizes what Sogas learned on his filmmaking journey that started at Rockhurst.

"I'm no longer running from my past, but excited about my future. I had this rat tail for 10 years that my parents now keep in the basement. But I no longer need to hide it, because I'm finally learning to like the person I've been, and the person I've become. Because who I am is enough.

"No matter what my hair looks like."

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