It’s Hard to Be a Caregiver — Therapy May Help With the Mental Load

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Caring for someone can be an equal act of love and service. No matter how many hours you spend providing direct care, it takes a lot of your energy from day to day. This naturally takes a toll on your mental and physical health. If you're physically exhausted or emotionally drained, therapy for caregivers can help.

We are here to explain everything you need to know about caregiver therapy. You'll learn about your different options, and how to get the help you need. Our hope is that we can help you find rest and self-care amidst your caregiving duties.

What is therapy for caregivers?

Therapy for caregivers is counseling that supports your role as a care partner. It can be a crucial service for the 65.7 million people in the U.S. caring for a relative or loved one.

It's not one specific type of therapy. It includes multiple different types of therapy. But they all have a similar goal - to alleviate the spectrum of mental health burdens that come with caregiving.

There are psychologists who train specifically to help people process their experience of supporting someone with a disability or illness.

"Caregiver therapy focuses specifically on the unique challenges caregivers face," said Dr. Christine DeVore, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist at Birch Psychology. "A therapist will understand the emotional roller coaster, practical hurdles, and potential feelings of guilt or isolation that come with caregiving."

Why is caregiver therapy so important?

No matter how many hours you are with your loved one, it can feel like a full-time job. When you're not physically caring for them, you may still worry about them. These emotional and physical burdens tend to build up, and start to affect your own health and well-being.

Many people struggle to admit that caregiving can be a difficult job. If you're experiencing symptoms of burnout, it doesn't mean you are selfish. It also doesn't mean that you don't care about your friend or relative. Instead, it helps you identify your unique challenges and what you can do to alleviate them.

Caregiver therapy is important because it helps protect you from the health risks associated with caregiving:

• Caregivers are 3.3 times more likely to start or increase their substance use.

• People caring for loved ones have higher blood pressure than noncaregivers.

• Informal caregivers have increased risk of cardiovascular disease than hired caregivers.

Research also suggests that caregivers for people with dementia are at increased risk for:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Cognitive decline (trouble with thinking)

"When a caregiver is burnt out, they are not able to care for themselves," said KC Hespeler, LCSW, a licensed social worker and owner of Shoreline Therapy. They tend to neglect their own physical and mental health, Hespeler said, and "this has significant consequences for the caregiver and the rest of their family."

What are the most common mental health issues caregivers face?

The act of caregiving itself can take a toll on your mental health. For example, seeing a loved one suffer can provoke feelings of grief and anxiety. Caregiving also puts a stress on different aspects of your personal life. For example, it can put a strain on your finances, work performance, and personal relationships.

"Many caregivers worry about finances, being available to their children and other family, losing their loved one, work schedule, lack of social life, and more," said Dr. Michele Leno, PhD, a licensed psychologist at DML Psychological Services, PLLC.

Although you likely worry about your loved one's quality of life every day, caregivers also encounter mental health issues like:

• Chronic stress

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Fatigue

• Sleep disturbance

• Insomnia

Your caregiver duties might also change how you think about yourself. The resulting self-esteem changes may cause isolation and hopelessness, even during good days.

What does caregiver burnout look like?

It's challenging to know when to get help if you can't recognize caregiver burnout. Although there are shared symptoms, it's important to remember every person is different.

Your mind and body may adapt to your caregiving routine differently than another person. You may have caregiver burnout if you experience symptoms like:

• Negative emotions about your life or loved one

• Sleep deprivation

• Physical exhaustion

• Withdrawal from others

• Depressed or low mood

• Increased anxiety about aspects of everyday life

• Low self-esteem

• Feelings of hopelessness

"When a caregiver is burnt out, they are not able to care for themselves," Hespeler said. "This causes problems for both the caregiver and the person receiving their care."

When should a caregiver reach out for support?

Do any of the symptoms listed above feel familiar to you? Do you feel alone in your struggle? Or are you feeling tired or overwhelmed? If so, it's a good time to get support.

When caregiver duties consume your entire day, it can be hard to stop and think about when you need help. But try to carve out a little time - even a few minutes - to reflect on your own health and general well-being. This could make a big difference.

If you're not sure where to start, reaching out to your primary care provider is always an option.

You can also reach out directly to a therapist. Multiple types of therapy are available for caregivers. And many therapists specialize in caregiving treatment. This could be a licensed professional who meets you online or in person.

To start, check your health insurance provider's website. Log in and you'll find a roster of in-network therapists. They may schedule in-person sessions near your home or virtual appointments.

It's also helpful to know that a therapist can meet with you individually, or meet with families if a person's caregiving roles are causing internal conflict.

It's OK if you are unsure which specific things you're feeling. Or what you want to get out of therapy. Confusion can be the place where you start your journey. Your licensed therapist will help you understand your feelings and pinpoint what you want to address first.

What other types of support are available for caregivers?

Individual (or family) therapy sessions are not your only option. There's help and resources out there to support you in different aspects of your life.

Group support

Therapy for caregivers may also mean attending group therapy with other care partners. This can give you social support, and help you feel less alone in your experience. They may also offer comfort by echoing your personal challenges.

If you simply want a supportive community instead of a therapy group, check out support groups. They bring care partners together for a variety of activities and events. Find one tailored to your specific type of care, such as:

• Parents supporting their children

• Adults caring for their parents

• Anyone tending to someone with a disability or mental health diagnosis

Self-care strategies

You could also use helpful burnout reduction strategies to improve your well-being. Try the following:

• Vent your thoughts and feelings in a journal for 5 minutes at the start of each day. Journaling helps to decrease emotional fatigue and burnout.

• Get a few short walks into your weekly routine. Physical activity reduces burnout rates in people providing healthcare support. This can be as simple as a 10-minute walk before dinner or after your morning cup of coffee.

• Adjust your sleep routine to get better rest. Go to bed at the same time each night. Make sure your room is dark. And, if possible, set your thermostat between 68°F and 77°F.

• Spend at least 20 minutes in nature each week to minimize your stress. This could be a walk outside, attending therapy sessions outside, or gardening.

Financial and care aid

Resources to arrange financial and care aid are available. You may need those types of assistance to gain time for yourself. Seeking help is always better than struggling alone.

You can find resources through therapy offices or volunteer groups where you live. If you can't find any, these organizations can help, too:

• Aging in Place

• Well Spouse Association

• Caregiver Action Network

• National Alliance for Caregiving

• Family Caregiver Alliance

Take comfort in knowing many other care partners are in similar situations. Connect with people who understand your challenges. There's a good chance this will benefit you and your loved one.

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