Tools to Connect with Children

Parents, caregivers, mentors, and teachers can all play important roles in the lives of children. But to do that, you have to be able to connect with children.

Forming meaningful connections with children and teens can be difficult for adults.

Why Connecting Counts

There's value in connecting with a child. It can help them handle big emotions and provide mental health support. A bond with a trusted adult can reduce negative behaviors, boost attention, increase a sense of belonging, and build their social skills. If you're a parent, a solid relationship can provide a lifelong support system for your child and a healthier family overall.

You don't need a lot of time to make a quality connection with a child, but you have to do know how to do it. It helps to have practical tools you can use from experts you can trust. That's why we've put together resources to make connecting with kids easier.

Tools to Connect

These techniques offer a variety of ways to connect with young children and teenagers:

• Talking to Kids: What you say and how you say it matters. Use these simple conversation starters to spark discussions that will bring you together. Find out what topics can get a conversation going and learn what to do if a child doesn't seem to want to open up.
• Intentional Child Time: Engage in a simple activity with a toddler, child, or teen to lay the foundation for a meaningful relationship. These activities take just minutes, but how you approach them and what you do after, can have a positive impact on the way you interact going forward. We have a game to help you get started!
  • It should be an activity the child wants to do and takes the lead on.
  • Make sure you give them your full attention.
  • ​See what your kids like and are interested in.
• How Routines Support Children's Mental Health: Children thrive on routines. A regular schedule lets kids know what to expect in their day. A routine can remove stressors, giving you the physical and mental space to start talking. Discover how to structure routines that support a child's wellness and growth.
• Responding to Tough Behaviors: Sometimes the best way to bond with a child is to show them you're there during a difficult time. When a child doesn't act the way you'd like them to, it can provide an opportunity to connect. Praising their positive behavior can set a good tone for further connection, while discouraging challenging behavior can also provide a chance to interact.
• Self-Care for Parents and Caregivers: You may not think that giving yourself a break can help you form a better relationship with a child. But when you make time to care for your body and your mental health, however that looks for you, it can make you more approachable or give you the energy to work on a relationship with a child. What activities can help you unwind? Some people use journaling, mindfulness or exercise.

Making time to work on your relationship with a child sets the tone for a good bond going forward. Once a positive connection is made, and a child knows they can talk to you, you can be a source of support to help the child thrive.

If you're concerned about a child's safety, call your county's crisis line. If you or your child have suicidal thoughts and need immediate help, call or text the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or text the Crisis Text Line by texting "START" to 741-741. If there is an immediate safety concern, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.